Why
Should You Seek Help?
There are at
least two answers to this question. One is that you may
have to improve your speech to get what you want. This can
involve getting friends, getting grades, getting parts in
plays, getting jobs, getting promotions, getting respect-the
list is endless. Another more important answer is if your
speech bothers you enough to want to do something about
it. A version of the same answer is if you want to feel
more accepting of yourself as a person. These together form
the best reason for seeking help because you will be doing
it for yourself.
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Can Therapy Do Anything for
You Self - Help Can't?
Self-help has
a big plus. One is that even if you're working alone, the
fact that you are trying to help yourself shows your determination
to not let stuttering run your life. If you bring that much
determination to therapy, then your chances of success are
vastly better than if you go to therapy hoping that the
clinician will do something to you or for you that will
make life easier.
What therapy can do is to help you to help yourself. A clinician
can give you enough distance from your problems to get things
into focus. No matter how determined you are to improve,
it will be unnecessarily frustrating and slow if you don't
know how to go about helping yourself.
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When
Should You Seek Help?
The longer you
wait to start, the greater the pressure you will feel to
improve your speech. As big as those pressures may seem
to you now, they'll seem even bigger the closer you get
to job hunting or college. Don't wait until your last semester
to start. Therapy is not an overnight business. It takes
time, especially for progress that will stay with you. Although
you can improve in a matter of weeks, if not days, improvement
can evaporate just as quickly as you learned it. All you'll
have left is fog if you don't practice frequently and put
what you've learned to the test on the tough words and sounds,
to say nothing of the tough situations you've tried to avoid.
Give yourself years, but at the very least months, if you
expect therapy to work.
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Can
Therapy Cure Stuttering?
No one has found
a cure for stuttering. If you hear of anyone who claims
a cure, steer clear. This does not mean that some do not
improve so much that they think of themselves as cured.
When that happens, though, it's the exception, not the rule.
If you are determined to cope with stuttering, you can improve
your speech and you can improve how you feel.
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Can
You Believe Claims of Overnight Success?
No. Probably
not, at least as far as giving you answers to whether you'll
get the help you're looking for. The problem is in knowing
what the claims mean. Does 98 percent success mean cure,
fluency improved, feel better, or what? Many therapists
could claim 100 percent success if every little improvement
in fluency meant success. But that improvement would be
so small as to have no meaning.
Good therapists
don't make such claims. If a clinician hesitates to let
you talk to anyone they've seen, or observe their therapy,
or steer you to just certain former clients, or use testimonials
from satisfied clients, or show a slick commercial example
of their success, you should be cautious. They may advertise,
but the better they are, the more discrete their advertising
is likely to be. Good clinicians have nothing to hide. They're
open for inspection.
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Did You Try Therapy and It Didn't Work?
If you've had
therapy before and it didn't help, you're probably convinced
it won't help. Worse, you may be feeling guilty because
you think it's your fault that therapy didn't work.
Don't despair. There is hope. For one thing, the clinician
you had may not have specialized in stuttering. Many therapists
don't know enough about it to be of much help, but there
are specialists available.
The fact is that many who are helped most were sure there
was no hope. If you have doubts but still are willing to
try, talk to people who have been through different therapy
programs. Good clinicians can put you in touch with most
of the people they've seen. See for yourself how their speech
sounds, as well as how they feel about it and themselves.
Find out how much help they feel they got. Their outcome
won't guarantee your outcome, but they will give you a clue
as to what to expect.
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Is
30 Minutes a Week Enough?
In the best
of all possible worlds, no. Especially if you are just beginning
therapy. Until you made substantial progress, 30 minutes
a week, even an hour a week, is like going to the movies
and seeing nothing but previews... Momentum helps and it's
tough to get it even with a couple of hours a week. Still,
if you can only get an hour or so a week, progress will
be slow but it is possible. Later on, when you know what
you're about and are moving out on your own, brief weekly
sessions can be particularly useful.
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How Do You Find a Therapist
You'll Like?
Therapists help
people who stutter several different ways. No single therapy
or therapist is right for everyone.
The Stuttering
Foundation can steer you to specialized help, but you'll
have to decide if the therapist is for you. The only way
you'll find out is to give whoever it is a try. First impressions
aren't always right, but if you have strong objections,
this therapist may just be wrong for you.
Finding the right
clinician to help you isn't like finding a mechanic for
your car or a surgeon for your appendix. Skill and knowledge
alone aren't enough. Until you find a therapist who is both
skilled and really cares about you, keep shopping.
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Stuttering: Answers for Employers
Understanding
stuttering can be a part of an employer's ongoing efforts
to make the workplace more user-friendly for all people.
Greater understanding of speech handicaps provides benefits
both for the organization and all the people who work there.
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Eliminating
Stereotypes About Stuttering
- People who
stutter are as intelligent and well-adjusted as non-stutterers.
- Don't assume
that people who stutter are prone to be nervous, anxious,
fearful, or shy. While stuttering behaviors may sometimes
resemble the behaviors of non-stutterers who experience
these emotions, people who stutter exhibit the same full
range of personality traits as those who do not.
- Stuttering
is not the result of emotional conflict or fearfulness.
- People who
stutter often have excellent communication skills. They
should not be seen as deficient at verbal communication.
Some people who stutter are very often qualified for and
interested in positions requiring them to deal with members
of the public on a daily basis.
- People who
stutter have the same ambitions and goals for advancement
as non-stutterers. To an extent consistent with their
abilities, they should be offered leadership opportunities
and paths for promotion within an organization.
- Stuttering
varies widely in different people and varies in the same
person over different times and places. People who stutter
often have "good" and "bad" days with
their speech.
- For people
who stutter, a job interview is perhaps the single most
difficult speaking situation they will ever encounter
and is not indicative of how they would speak on the job.
It is important to consider the actual job requirements
and conditions before ruling out a candidate for employment
because of his speech impediment.
- Some people
who stutter less severely may not acknowledge their condition
publicly for fear of losing their jobs or being denied
promotions. By feeling forced to keep their condition
a secret, they place themselves under enormous stress.
This can impact their own job performance as well as that
of their colleagues.
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People
Who Stutter On The Job: Helpful Strategies
- Employee Assistance
Programs (EAPs) can be very helpful by maintaining information
on stuttering so that employees with questions-for themselves
and their children-can be referred to the appropriate
professionals.
- The best way
to approach an employee's stuttering is through honest
communication. By refraining from making assumptions about
the person's job-related abilities and skills, both the
employee and employer can effectively achieve their goals.
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How to react when speaking with someone who stutters
- You might
be very tempted to finish sentences or fill in words for
the person. Unless you know the person well and have his
or her permission, please do not do this. Your ad ion
could be taken as demeaning. Of course, if you guess the
wrong word, the difficulties multiply.
- Refrain from
making remarks like: "Slow down," "Take
a Breath," or "Relax." Such advice can
be felt as patronizing and is not constructive.
- Maintain
eye contact and try not to look embarrassed or alarmed.
Just wait patiently and naturally until the person is
finished.
- Be aware
that people who stutter usually have more trouble controlling
their speech on the telephone. Saying "Hello,"
in particular, often presents a special problem. Please
be extra patient in this situation.
- People sometimes
ask if they should ask the person questions about his
or her stuttering. This is something we must leave to
your judgement. But surely, stuttering should not be a
taboo subject. If you have a question about it, the person
will probably appreciate your interest. It is of mutual
benefit that it be talked about openly.
You should be prepared that some people who stutter will
be sensitive about it, but if you follow the rules of
common courtesy, you should be fine.
- The person's
stuttering sometimes makes it harder to understand what
he or she is saying. If you do not understand what is
said to you, do not be afraid to say "I'm sorry,
I didn't understand what you just said." No matter
how much of a struggle it was for them to say it, this
is preferable to your pretending you understood, or guessing
what his or her communication was.
- Set a relaxed
pace when possible, using a moderate rate of speech yourself.
- In general,
let the person know by your manner and actions that you
are listening to what he or she is saying and not how
he or she is saying it. Be yourself. Be a good listener!
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Using The Phone
Many people,
whether they stutter or not, have difficulty using the telephone.
Listen to some non-stutterers dealing with phone calls.
Some take several seconds to answer. Others may say "Um"
and "Ah" a lot. Others may be very expressive
with their hands or faces, perhaps talking loudly and aggressively.
Using the phone can cause a great deal of anguish, and each
person must learn to cope with it in his or her own way.
If, as a person who stutters, you have a problem using the
telephone, then you may find the following advice helpful.
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Making
Calls To Others
Making a call
can usually be split into three phases: preparation, the
call, assessing how you did.
- Preparation
Make sure you know why you are calling. Write the key
points on paper and have it in front of you when you call.
Try phoning a friend or relative just before the big call.
This may help relax you. If you have a number of calls
to make, list them in ascending order. Start with the
easiest and work your way up to the most difficult. Do
not keep putting off the call you need to make. That will
make it even more stressful and difficult.
- The
Call
Quite often the difficult part is getting through
to the right person. If you are confronted by a
switchboard operator, for example, would an extension
number or department be easier to say than someone's name?
Have some alternative first words in mind; be flexible
in what you want to say. If you do start to block, stutter
openly, gently and easily; try not to force the words
out and most importantly remember to speak slowly.
Do not worry too much about silences; they occur in all
conversations. Concentrate on what you have to say, rather
than worry about any blocks. Your purpose is to communicate,
whether you stutter or not. Pay attention to your fluent
speech. Many stutterers forget about their times of fluency
and dwell on the stuttering. Savor your fluency; make
other calls when feeling more fluent; strike while the
iron is hot. Fluent speech breeds confidence, and confidence
breeds fluent speech.
Watching yourself in a mirror while phoning can be helpful
as you will be able to see where the tension lies in your
face and other parts of your body. If you persevered with
a difficult call and felt you communicated well, then
praise or treat yourself and remember the good feeling
that a successful call gave you.
- Assessing
How You Did
Most people, not just those who stutter, sometimes make
calls when they feel they have
been less than fluent or have not managed to get their
message across.
If you felt that a particular call was stressful and you
stuttered more than usual, try to forget it. Adopt a positive
attitude; remember there will be other conversations when
you will stutter less. It is not a disaster to stutter,
and you can learn from each speaking experience. At home,
tape-record your telephone conversations if you can. Note
your speech carefully, especially the speed and the lead
up to any blocks. Try to learn from each recording, and
prepare a strategy for the next call. Doing this over
a period of time will help to identify certain recurring
problems and words.
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Receiving
Calls
This is the
area over which you have least control. However, even here
you can go part way to easing some of the pressure you may
feel. Always answer the call in your own time. Don't rush
to the telephone. Again have key word options ready: your
extension number, name of your organization, or even just
your name. Use whatever comes easiest to you at that moment.
If you receive a call within earshot of other people, concentrate
solely on that call. Accept that others may hear and see
you block, but do not allow their presence to distract you
from your phone call. Don't be afraid of initial silence
on the phone if you struggle for your first word. It is
quite common for someone to answer the phone and then not
speak, either because they're finishing a conversation with
a colleague or because they have picked up someone else's
phone and are waiting for them to return to their seat.
The person phoning
you may also stutter. Be patient with others who may be
just as anxious as you and may be putting into practice
some of the above points.
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General
Advice for making Phone Calls
- Practice
should help you to feel happier about using the telephone
- Confront your
fear of the telephone. Talk about what it is that you
fear happening and what you can do about it.
- Try to be
aware of situations where you avoid using the telephone
and gradually tackle these calls. Make the most of local
calls for practice. Choose to use the telephone rather
than write letters.
- Try to be
the person in your household who answers the telephone.
Openly admit that you stutter. This may be very difficult
if you have avoided talking about it all your life. Practice
talking about your stuttering. Many people have said that
talking about it has reduced their anxiety and fear.
- Watch and
listen to non-stutterers using the phone. Listen to their
lack of fluency and their hesitation.
- Give others
the benefit of the doubt. If they know you stutter then
they are prepared to expect some silences.
- Finally practice,
practice, practice. Do not let that modern-day piece of
plastic dominate your life. It is far better to use the
phone and stutter than to avoid using the phone.
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The Stuttering
Foundation of America provides helpful information on their
Web site: http://www.stuttersfa.org/insuranc.htm
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